10 Cartoon Characters We Can’t Help but be Attracted To
It’s not too weird that sometimes we’re sexually attracted to the cartoon characters from our childhood, is it? Come on, let’s be honest here. Who hasn’t fascinated about Bill from that one Schoolhouse...
View ArticleSherman Ave Freshman Guide: Hooking Up
We all want action, but few know of a sure-fire way to find it. At college, the ability to suavely convince a random hottie to engage in romantic activities with scant emotional attachment involved can...
View ArticleThe Five Flavors of Motherfucker
Indulge your synesthesia. We’re categorizing the most unpalatable people. Salty Motherfuckers Let me take you back to the diving board at your local swimming pool. You’d jump, swim to the ladder or the...
View ArticleWhy I’m transferring to Arizona State
Okay, so don’t think of this as a break up. Just think of it as a “see ya later pal,” aight? Because honestly, this isn’t about you. It’s about me needing to do what I have to do. So here it is: I...
View ArticleSimon Goes to the Movies Episode III: The Last Man on Earth
A weird thing about The Last Man on Earth, at least for someone like me who read I am Legend and saw I am Legend (with Will Smith) before seeing it is that Vincent Price is probably the last person I...
View Article5 Profile Poses That Are Worse Than The Music of Creed
Here at the Ave, we are devoted to promoting and disseminating positive images throughout the internet. Which is why it’s time you salty motherfuckers finally learned a thing or two about profile...
View ArticleHow to Avoid the In-Class Creeper
Recently, I was at a party with my gals dancing the night away, celebrating being done with yet another quarter of my godforsaken Spanish class, when a sweaty guy from my class came up to me and...
View ArticleImaginary Conversation with Cute Girl in Front Row Going Great
EVANSTON, Il. – According to multiple sources within your consciousness, the conversation you are currently imagining with that cute girl in the front row of your Econ 202 class is going really well,...
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